The Identity Challenge: Man, Father and Professional
What It’s Really Like Returning from Paternity Leave
In a growing number of forward-thinking workplaces, men are now being offered extended paternity leave-up to six months in some cases. What was once a rare luxury is slowly becoming a new standard. And while this is a huge step forward for gender equality and family life, the return to work for new dads comes with its own set of emotional, cultural and practical challenges.
So what happens when the nursery naps end and it’s time to swap baby bottles for boardrooms?
The Emotional Shift: From Full-Time Father to Full-On Schedule
For many men, extended leave is a deeply transformative experience. They become the primary caregiver, involved in the day-to-day realities of bonding, feeding, cleaning and comforting. And just as they find their rhythm at home, the return-to-work moment arrives.
The emotional pull can be intense.
“You’ve spent six months building a world with your baby,” says one dad from a tech firm offering 26 weeks paid leave. “Then suddenly, you’re expected to switch gears, be ‘professional’, and act like you didn’t just experience the most profound shift of your life.”
This transition is often underestimated-both by the individual and the organisation.
The Identity Challenge: Man, Father and Professional
For decades, the workplace has rarely made space for fatherhood in a meaningful way. Many men returning from extended leave feel a tug-of-war between their new identity as a father and the older expectations of the “always-on” employee.
Will I be taken seriously if I talk about my family needs?
Can I ask for flexibility like mums do?
Do people think I’ve been “on holiday”?
These are the quiet questions many dads carry back into the workplace. Without open conversations or supportive structures, this can lead to isolation, guilt or performance anxiety.
Who’s Getting It Right?
Some companies are leading the way in normalising fatherhood and flexible reintegration:
Aviva UK offers up to 26 weeks of paid parental leave for all parents, regardless of gender. Their employees praise the culture of openness and support around returning fathers.
Spotify gives dads up to six months’ leave, with global flexibility on how and when they take it. Their return-to-work support includes coaching and phased returns.
Diageo rolled out equal parental leave globally, reinforcing the message that caregiving isn’t gendered-and their returnees are offered tailored plans to reintegrate gradually.
These organisations understand that equal leave policies only work when matched with supportive return practices.
What Do Dads Need When They Return?
Phased Returns – Just like mums, new dads benefit from easing back into full-time hours and responsibilities.
Peer Support – Knowing other men who’ve gone through the same experience can be a lifeline.
Manager Training – Leaders who understand the emotional and logistical impact of leave can help fathers feel psychologically safe.
Normalised Flexibility – The ability to leave early for childcare or work from home when needed must be equally available to all parents.
Changing the Narrative
A dad returning from six months of paternity leave may be leaving his partner at home to continue caregiving. This dynamic can carry emotional weight—guilt, imbalance or a sense of loss. But it can also spark powerful conversations about shared roles and mutual respect.
For companies, supporting fathers in this phase sends a strong cultural message:
We believe parenting is a shared responsibility.
We see our employees as whole people.
We invest in long-term wellbeing and loyalty.
Final Thought
When dads are supported to take leave and return well, everyone benefits: children get more quality time with both parents, partners feel more equally supported and workplaces build a culture where life and leadership can co-exist.
At MOCO Coaching, we believe transitions like these deserve thoughtful, human-centered support. Because helping dads return to work isn’t just progressive-it’s smart, sustainable business.